Genesis Part V
It was the mid-nineties and I had enthusiastically exceeded my competence level as a systems analyst. The adage that those who can’t do – teach was alive and well and directed me to pursue a career in education. I had a brilliant plan. The first step was to complete a masters in adult education. Done. The second step was to market myself as someone with practical hands-on work experience combined with a theoretical understanding of adult education. Check. The third step was to sit back and wait for the job offers to come piling in. Didn’t happen. Funny, same thing didn’t happen to @drstrangejob.
Not to be daunted, I decided that my resume needed an “isn’t that special” attention grabber. Industry certifications were a hot commodity at the time and the one with the most prestige was Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer (MCSE). It took almost two years to complete that puppy, but it worked. I landed an instructor position teaching information technology at a prestigious community college.
I was MCSE when MCSE was cool. In fact, I was the first person in the entire province to complete the certification. It went to my head. I went overboard with promoting the fact that I held the MCSE designation. I bought the shirt, jacket, pen, coffee cup, laptop case, and just about anything that had either the MCSE logo or Microsoft Professional designation attached. I went certifiable over the certification.
One morning I found myself admiring my Dilbert inspired IT guru reflection in the mirror whilst paying careful attention as to how the MCSE logo on the official Microsoft pen complemented the Microsoft Professional logo on my official Microsoft polo shirt. I was pumped. I was the man. I was the Microsoft Man.
What kind of dick is proud to wear a logo that emphasizes the words micro and soft? What type of male nerd would that be? Microsoft should change their name to Maximumhard. That might distract from all the system down time, or at least keep the system up long enough to be useful.
Next on the Blog: Irrefutable proof that Bill Gates is in league with the devil
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Dr. StrangeJob or: How I Learned to Stop Raging and Embrace the Bull 